Mum, our Dave is now with you, take care of each other, I know you will xx

Mum got dementia. It doesn't sound much when put like that, but the impact it had, both in life and in death, was heartrending. It is better, for me, and for anyone who reads this, to start with my most recent memories, those memories of mum as the dementia took hold, and finish with the memories of the person she truly was. She never lost her sense of humour and for that I am grateful. She never lost her beautiful smile, or that mischievous glint in her eye. She did however lose her memories. Her recognition of people and places, even those closest to her, those she loved with all her heart, was patchy at best and often non-existent. She could no longer read, or knit or complete her colouring books. Television and music replaced those activities, but soon the programmes she once loved became too difficult to follow. She made us smile with her conversation choices, but inwardly groan at the repetitions. Are you 21 today, followed by a rendition of "21 Today" It's raining, followed by a recital of "Doctor Foster" and my husband, Simon was often accused of being ten foot tall. She never forgot that we had a dog that bit the midwife, but couldn't remember how or why or even which dog. Towards the end she became quieter. She stopped interacting with the quiz shows on the television, smiled quietly or shrugged or raised her eyes to heaven, pulled tongues and silly faces to express emotion or respond to questions or circumstance. Dementia took my mum, but it didn't take her sense of fun or her irrepressible humour. She had always had that sense of fun, and that is what I want to remember. She laughed a lot, and her smile was beautiful. She loved playing games, whether it was board games, cards or sports like tennis, ten pin bowling or crazy golf and she was a good teacher too. She was multi-talented and taught me knitting,sewing, embroidery, dressmaking. As children there were always painting sets, colouring books and dot to dot. She loved to learn new things. Half-term holidays at Pontin's activity weeks found us flower arranging and making jewellery, ragdolls, paper flowers, macrame plant pot holders, among other things. Auntie Lil also enjoyed crafts and she and mum made rocking chairs and coasters out of pegs some of which still exist today. She loved reading and a common sight in the evening after tea was cleared away, was mum with dad, on the settee, dad watching tv and mum with her nose stuck in a book. Mum was a lovely person, inside and out. She was always kind. At work, she went beyond her cleaning duties by being a friend to the residents, often doing small chores, running errands and helping with the bingo nights and bring and buy sales. Holidays were always important to her, and we had at least one per year. We never went abroad, but managed to cover most of Great Britain. The only time she wasn't happy on holiday was when the boat was on the trailer! High days and holidays were where mum really came to life. She and dad always played with us on the beach or at the park. We played French cricket, mum challenged us to races, and usually won. She was usually the first to spot a good climbing tree and often went higher than me, or Lesley. We have a photo of her at Butlins in the tug of war, and years later when I lived in Brazil she played tennis, went in speedboats and on a sand buggy across the dunes. Her sense of fun and adventure extended to roller coasters, a balloon ride, a camel ride and so much more. At school sports day she ran in the mum's race and I can remember her winning on at least one occasion, barefooted and in her short summer dress. Her first holiday abroad was with dad for their 25th wedding anniversary. They both loved it and that began years of adventures to many parts of the world. When I moved to Maastricht with Simon, Mum and Dad visited us numerous times. The first occasion saw her fall off my new bike (brakes the wrong way around was her excuse) but that didn't stop her. When my children were born, and I am sure my siblings will agree, she became one of the best Grandmas a child could have. She, like in every other aspect of her life took on the role with love. We presented mum and dad with many grandparenting challenges which were accepted without question. They joined us in Holland and Brazil, babysat when we lived in the UK, stayed in Ringwood when Simon and I went to South Africa and rushed down to hold the fort when I was in hospital, and we even lived with them for a short time when we moved to, and back from Brazil. You were always there Mum, in the good times and the bad and I will miss you so much.

Pat, Ida and the Morris’s send their deepest sympathies to the Marten family. May the love of family and friends help you through this difficult time. It is never easy to loose a wife, mother and grandmother. Edna fought a difficult battle with Alzheimer's disease, but her life committed to raising a beautiful family with Ron is her lasting legacy. Edna will remain in our hearts and memories forever.